Israel Jewish Life, September 8, 2006
Ima means mother in Hebrew. However, it's according to Chinese tradition that I call my mother-in-law Ima.
The first time I met Ima, I addressed her as Mrs. Lussel, sounding like a complete stranger. Ima corrected me amiably. "Call me Rachel," she said.
Americans, as well as Israelis, address each other by first name, regardless of one¡¯s age or position. Those were some awkward days for me though. I could naturally address my boss, even my VPs, by first name at work -- but with my future mother-in-law, every time I called her Rachel, I felt as if I had entered a wrong door, one foot raised in the air, uncomfortable to move either in or out.
After we got married, Barak shyly called my mother Mama. I, on the other hand, eagerly started to address his mother as Ima, my concern for politeness and distance finally settled. Ima gladly accepted the Chinese custom I imposed on her, and she was proud that her "Chinese daughter" called her Ima in front of everyone.
Ima is such a tolerant parent. She always respects her children's wishes, and her children all compete to love her. Every Friday Ima cooks an elaborate dinner for the entire family. At the dinner table she listens with a smile to us rambling on about our work and life, occasionally blinking her big eyes -- as charming as those of Audrey Hepburn's.
When everyone's mouth is full of her schnitzels and roasted potatoes, Ima suddenly announces that she has recently read a very funny joke. Ima often exchanges jokes with her friends through email.
Everybody quiets down, because Ima rarely demands anyone's attention. "A Jewish mother moved into a modernly equipped new house, he he!" Ima is already amused by her own joke as she starts. "You have to finish the joke before you start to laugh," Barak reminds Ima.
Ima stops laughing and starts all over, "A Jewish mother moved into a new house. She said to her husband, I tried our new washer today, he he!" Ima can't help laughing again. Everybody becomes anxious at the table.
Ima goes to the kitchen and brings a sheet of paper with the joke printed on it. She hands it to Barak and says, "You might as well read it." Barak will not do it. He says, "It's your joke. You'd better finish telling it."
So Ima has to put on her reading glasses and continue to read. "I tried our new washer today. As soon as I pressed the button, all clothes were gone, ha ha ha!" Everyone stares at Ima, who obviously has amused herself, waiting for the final punch line. She looks back at us, puzzled, and says, "The end. Isn't it funny?"
I finally get it and say, "Ah, she used the toilet as the washer." Barak pounds the table and pretends to laugh really hard. Then he says, "Ima, your schnitzels are very good, but your jokes are not." Ima is not upset, and as if to console everyone, she says instead, "I have to read the joke a few times too to get it."
We all laugh this time. Barak opens his arms and gives happy Ima a tight hug.
