警告:這故事內容有可能令一些人看了不舒服, 請自行決定是否繼續閱讀. 而十八歲以下的請勿閱讀.


百合之夏 (獻給 Roberta)

(一)

在我們這群人中, 背叛的代價就是死亡.

早苗(Sanae)和我對這一清二楚. 儘管如此, 我倆仍情不自禁. 我們就是一見鍾情.

 (2)

我記得那是一個炎炎夏日. 我們的Harley摩托車隊正在湘南高速上飛馳. 我坐在女王Roberta後方, 雙手緊緊抱著她的小蠻腰. 那是那年中最炎熱的一天, 我的水手服已全濕透了. Roberta 從來都是以極速飛馳的, 我只好把胸部貼到她的背上. 我知道她甫離學校就把乳罩剝下了. 知道這個令我感到與她更親密了, 於是我在胸圍下的乳蒂不經不覺中硬了起來. Roberta昨晚已睡了我. 這是她作為女王的權利 在我當時的思想中這本來就是理所當然的事. Roberta美得令人心醉, 而且她有一雙遺傳自她義大利父親的榛子色眼睛, 再加上了令她看來如此飄逸的長髮, 和她上床我是心甘情願的. 我是在一間日式小旅館中獻身的. 在進入她寢室前, 我依她的指令把身上的學校水手服換成了一件頭的黑漆皮鐵騎士裝. 因為小旅館的空調壞了, 在我把滑門拉開時, 我已是香汗淋漓. Roberta就坐在正中, 身上只穿上了白色的夏日和服. 即使在那距離, 我也可以看到她和服下是真空的.
「貴子(Keiko), 過來,」她指向接近她的榻榻米. 我馴從的跪坐到離她不及一米處. 她呼出的氣直撲我的臉上, 我感到有少許不自然了. 在我未發一言之前, 她已一手把我拉向她並把黑漆皮騎士服胸前的拉鏈扯下. 我把頸部向後拗過去, 閉上了雙眸時發出了我的呻吟. 我感到她用雙手以及舌尖探索我的乳溝.
「永不要背叛我, 貴子.」 在她把我的皮衣從的肩上滑下時她在我耳畔說. 很快我就在她面前全裸了. 她慢慢的舔乾我身上的汗水, 然後把我雙腿拉開, 上了我.
「把你的手按在我的奶子上, 感受它們.」她對我說.
我的眼睛仍是閉上中, 我以雙手探向她的乳房. 她的乳房是如此豐滿和圓渾, 在我掌心的乳蒂有如兩顆乾葡萄一樣; 我的手退了回來, 像是害怕再撫弄一會就會損破它們.
Roberta笑了.
「你喜歡它們嗎?」
我點頭, 眼睛仍是緊閉的.
「好極了. 現在就啜它們吧.」
我感到她把我的頭拉向她的乳房, 再把它們逐一送向我的嘴. 我用舌頭把玩它們, 過了一會, 就開始吻啜.
「貴子是好孩子, 我喜歡. 從現在開始, 你就是我的.」
她的話令我稍有不安. 不錯, Roberta不但很美, 她也聰明和充滿魅力. 但我感到剛才發生的只是我被她挑逗了情慾而非真的是我渴望得到的愛情.  
「讓我替你開苞吧, 貴子.」
「不!」我的眼睛睜開了.
「為什麼? 你想把它留給一個男生嗎? 你未來的丈夫? 」 我在她眼中看到了怒火.
「不, 我不想要男人. 我一向都只喜歡女生.」我否認說.
「好. 那麼, 我們就馬上完事吧.」
我本想再抗拒一下, 但她已開始和我做愛了. 她把身上的和服剝下, 把完美的身軀在我面前展示. 我的口張得大大的. 她身體真是件上帝的藝術品. 這時, 我的情慾已被挑起, 於是我再也沒有多思考下去了.
她壓在我身上, 把我的雙腿再拉開少許然後把她的數只指頭插了進去.
「唷…」,我感到血在流出把榻榻米都染紅了, 我第一個念頭是: 旅館的主人發覺了會不肯罷休吧. 她會大聲咒罵? 投訴? 要我們賠錢? 然後我就為自己的傻兮兮發笑: 這房間應見證過不少處女的初夜吧. 旅館主人才不會理會這種蒜皮小事. 我感到Roberta的身體壓在我身上, 感到我們的奶子在互相磨擦; 然後我們濕吻了. 我感到全身像被燃點起來, 好像是每一沉睡的細胞都突然甦醒了.
「告訴我你是愛我的.」她命令道.
「我愛你, Roberta.」 我機械式的回答.
可能我真的以為我是愛她的, 以為我已找到了一生中的最愛.
現在, 我當然知道那時是大錯特錯.

(二)


她騎的是一輛銀紅相間色的印第安納型摩托, 是個獨行鐵騎士, 長長秀髮在那黑色的護盔後隨風飄揚, 而她身上的黑胸罩就像隨時會被勁風吹走. 在腰部以下, 她是穿上了一條超短的破舊牛仔布熱褲, 把她的修長腿部和很迷人的膝蓋暴露了出來.  她是和我們平行並駕的, 一時間我無法看到她的臉. 是Robert 首先向她挑釁的. 就在這時, 她把臉轉過來. 我看到她了. 我登時呆了. 這是一張純美如天使的臉, 眼睛有如秋水澄明., 而它們正全神注視著我們.  我感到臉上飛紅, 而更要命的是, 我兩腿之間也熱起來了.  為什麼? 為什麼她要現在才出現? 如果她早一點走進我的生命, 我會不惜一切和她走向天涯海角. 她是不是也和一樣的蕾絲邊也沒關係, 只要能和她在一起, 我就會心滿意足.

Roberta 肯定也感覺我的情緒變化了. 我可以感到她發自內心的憤怒., 而她正把這憤怒化成速度. 她一腳踏在加速器上, Harley發出了怒吼向前狂飊. 我想我將永遠失去那個騎在銀紅色印第安納風火輪上的女騎手了. 但我錯了 我聽到背後一陣發動機的聲音, 跟著, 她和我們又是並排前進了. 我的心開始狂跳: 她追上來了! 不! 她是為了我而追上來了!

兩人之間不宣而戰. Roberta把Harley驅至極限. 經改裝過Harley馬力強大, 可是就是拋不掉那銀紅色的印第安納. 我們沿著相模灣的九曲十三彎公路上亡命飛馳, 輪胎不斷發生尖銳的聲音. 我們的同伴這時已被拋得遠遠了, 只有我們兩輛車在作出不要命的挑戰.

「我們都會死的, Roberta! 求求你, 慢下來.」 我拚命呼喊. 但Roberta根本聽不入耳. 對她來說, 勝出比生死來得重要.

前面是一段收窄的路段了. 我知道這意味什麼. 我們遲早會碰上一輛逆行的車子. 如我們不讓到一旁, 就只能迎頭相撞. 而這來得比我想像還快.  一輪巨型貨車, 就是那些從各地把商品運入東京的長途大卡車, 突然出現在前方. 已沒有空間容我們避向右方了. 一就是Roberta 讓步, 一就是那銀紅印第安納車的騎手收油門讓路, 否則我和Roberta 就一定與貨車迎頭相撞而被捲入車底兩命嗚呼.

Roberta 半步不讓! 可幸另外的車手讓開了. Roberta 發出勝利的歡呼, 把Harley靠向右方直衝向高速公路的餘程. 我沒有因她的勝利而狂喜. 對Roberta 來說, 贏出比死更重要: 包括可能讓我和她一起喪命. 另外一個卻在自已本身沒有生命威脅下讓路了. 我知道是她不想我受到傷害.

那天晚上, Robert 以一個勝利者的姿態和我狂野交歡. 我在她熟睡後溜了出來. 在旅館之外, 有一輛銀紅色参印第安納摩托在等候著.

(3)

她叫早苗, 二十歲, 比我長一歲. 而她是個蕾絲邊.

我們在附近的公園中做愛. 我馬上就能分辨出來了. 早苗是和我做愛, Roberta 只是對我做愛.  我告訴她以Roberta那種睚眦必報的性格是絕不會放過我們的.從我們群裡其他人口中我知說Roberta就曾使兩名背叛她的少女死得不明不白. 她們的座駕連同二人的屍體被發現在一高逾八十米的崖底.
早苗聽了搖搖頭, 笑了笑. 她說她不害怕 也絕不會放棄我.
「我們可以逃到北海道去.」她說.
「嗯, 我可以打散工, 而且我也有些許積蓄.」我對她說. 我沒有告訴早苗其實金錢絕不會是問題. 我很有錢. 父母因墜機身亡的保險賠償再加上了為數不菲的遺產足以讓我們不用工作也可以過得好好的. 我沒有告訴她是因為我不想金錢進入我們這段關係. 我寧願和她一同努力, 即使是從事遞送pizza的工作或在路旁小咖啡館子當女侍應也可以.
「我們會幸福的, 相信我吧.」她說.
我點點頭.
天一亮, 我們就往北出走.

(四)


我們很開心的渡過了三個夏季. 和早苗一起生活越久, 我就越是確信已找到了人生裡的真命天子. 我們賺的錢勉強足夠我們租下一間小公寓以及維持日常開支. 我從沒有從我身口提錢. 幸福不一定要依靠擁有很多錢的. 而我們都幸福.

小苗告訴我她的生命史: 她十一歲時就成了孤兒. 由到了合法年齡起她就一直自力更生. 她告訴我她一生中有三樣東西對她是最寶貴的: 她的自由, 那銀紅印第安納, 另一樣就是我.

我們差不多隔天就做愛而樂此不疲. 當我們都不用上班時, 我們就去垂釣. 我是不喜歡釣魚的, 因為覺得對上鈎的魚很殘忍, 可是我很喜歡看她釣魚. 間中, 我們會到附近的小酒吧喝一杯又或在當地的士高狂舞達旦

生活就幸福似在天堂裡的. 直至Roberta追蹤到我們.


(五)

即使在Roberta從樹後走出來前, 我已知道我們逃不了. 她帶來了五個手下女孩子, 全都是武裝到牙齒的: 疊球棒, 單車鍊, 甚至有一柄黑幫用的那種武士刀.
早苗去了便利店去給我買些東西解渴; 於是我就一個人面對她們.
我的心在狂跳. 我怕極了, 不是為我自己而是擔心早苗.
「原來你們就匿在這兒.」 Robert 掛著一個很殘酷的笑臉道. 我曾認為她美若天仙. 現在我知道當天是如何愚蠢了. 那不是一張臉, 而是一個面具. 在下面的臉是如此可憎!

「你要對我們幹什麼?」 那兩名死在崖底的女生的事浮上我心頭.
「不用急. 待你的女朋友回來便有分曉.」
而手中拿著給我買的飲品的早苗正在步行回來了. 她渾然不知道發生了什麼事.,
「快跑! 小苗, 跑啊!」 我高聲叫.
早苗抬起頭, 看到一切, 呆了.
「跑啊!」我再高聲呼叫, Roberta的小刀已擱在我臉上.
「再叫一聲, 我就在你的臉上留下永遠的疤痕!」她發嘶嘶聲。
「跑, 早苗, 跑!」 同時, 我感到刀刃割入我臉上的肌膚..
我感到血和淚淌下; 我哭不是因為我的臉被毀了, 而是我見到早苗在跑, 向我這方跑過來!
「放開她!」 早苗喝道.
她沒有武器, 但手中的啤酒瓶正好派上用場. 她往燈柱上一敲把碎裂了的一方指向Roberta.
「解決她!」Roberta 下令.
一個手持疊球棒的女生首先發難. 早苗輕易避開了一擊, 順勢把破瓶插入對方的小腿上. 那女生一聲慘叫倒下了. 另外兩人加入了戰團. 其中一人持武士刀, 另一個則是超過一米長的單車鍊. 早苗被二人夾在中間. 我的心像快要從口中跳出來了. 那持武士刀的女生大叫一聲揮刀就斬.早苗向後退了一步. 可是她忘了後方那持單車鍊的. 被一記重擊下, 早苗發出了一聲慘呼屈膝跪下. 那用武士刀的以為是機會, 就往前想補上致命的一刀. 但早苗比她想像中快得多. 她在地上一個快滾然後把染上血的破瓶口插入對方的小腿. 那女的尖叫中把武士刀丟了. 小苗正要把那刀撿起, 卻就在這一刻被另一條單車鍊擊中. 在劇痛中她踉蹌向前. 第三名女子用疊球棒的末端桶了早苗一下.
「不! 停下來! 叫她們停手!」我央求道.
她們沒有停手, 而是把早苗打得渾身是血. 她現在一步一步的向我爬過來, 同時伸出她的手移向我. 那持疊球棒的女生一記把早苗的手骨打碎了. 我聽到骨碎裂的聲音. 她永遠也不可以再騎那銀紅色印第安納了
我的心碎了.
「我恨你!」我向Roberta 吐了口沫.
「才不管呢! 你早已不是我疼愛的小東西了! 何況, 你們兩人也活不了.」
我聽了這話僵硬起來. 然後, 我反而平靜了. 我絕對願意和早苗一起死
「好吧, 殺了我們吧!」我說.
Roberta 冷冷的望向我.
然後, 她給了我一個殘忍的笑.
「殺了那婊子!」她說.
她們割斷早苗的咽喉時我狠咬下唇去壓止我的絕望. 她死前仍是深情的望向我.
「現在把我也殺掉吧!」我冷冷的說.
「我才不會讓你如願. 我要你一生在痛苦中和掛著一張醜臉活下去! 這就是你背叛我的代價!」
說完, 她就在我臉上補上一刀讓那刀疤成了個「X」型.
「我會報仇的.」我發誓.
她狂笑, 招了她的一名手下過來.
我的後腦被重擊一記, 之後我就昏死了過去.

(六)

Roberta應該當就時就殺了我的.
她忘了兩件事: 一個失去一切的女人為了復仇可以走向很極端. 她殺了我所愛的人, 我不會讓她走得掉.
第二, 她忘了我有錢, 很有錢.
錢不能給我買到幸福; 錢不能還給我早苗.
但錢可以買到權力和槍.
我花了兩年才找到Roberta和那些幫兇.
我找到她. 又或者說, 我們找到她.
六名山口組的人和我在一起. 我付了大筆金錢, 而日本黑幫向來都是絕對講信用的受人錢財, 替人消災.
她的五名手下連發生什麼事也未及知道就被亂槍打死, 當然, 槍管上都安上了滅聲器. 她們大約在前夜是性狂歡了一整夜吧: 所有人都是一絲不掛的堆在一塊.
我把Roberta留到最後. 我已下了指示不要傷她一根汗毛因為我要親手把她殺死替早苗報仇.
她被押到的面前時全身打震. 我本來打算要挖出她的雙眼, 割斷她的舌頭, 把她頭上所有的頭髮一根一根拔出來才割斷她的脖子的. 可是, 不知是什麼原因, 我在最後一刻改變了主意. 大約: 不能以暴易暴吧. 我槍殺了她: 一雙乳房各中一槍, 再一槍打在她前額上. 她在房裡間壁處滑下. 大字型的仰臥在榻榻米上.

我給那嚇得臉無人色的旅館主人作出了了充份的補償. 那筆錢足夠讓那老太太不用再操故業也可以安享晚年. 山口組的人用Benz把我送回東京. 旅館的事他們會處理妥當, 就像沒有任何事發生一樣. 我不知道他們用什麼方法; 也不想知.

我回到了北海道, 把我和早苗一起快樂生活了三年的小房子買了下來. 我也把用來殺死Roberta的手槍帶了回來. 原本, 我是想在早苗的相片前吞槍自盡的. 但看到她在相片中的笑容時, 我改變了主意. 可能, 如果我可擁有和她一起時發生的事的記憶, 我也可以與痛苦一起渡過餘生. 如果真的太難, 我可隨時取出在抽屜中的手槍向自己太陽穴轟一槍一了百了.

我無需工作. 在銀行中的存款足以令我下半世無憂 我只是平淡的生活 如此過了一年, 我開始寫作. 意外的是: 我的書賣得出奇地好. 那些版權費對我來說只是錦上添花, 於是我就把它們都掃到慈善機關了,

我今天早上已寫了近三小時了, 於是就稍停下來讓在鍵盤上的指頭稍為休息一下, 我望出窗外, 看著那輛停泊在那兒的銀紅色印第安納. 它不會再在公路上奔馳了, 可是我仍經常僱人把它抹油保養得好好的. 這早上和暖得很. 我看到一只小知更鳥在窗框外向我側著頭像正在望向我. 這使我不期然想起早苗而促使我的淚水滑下.
「你為什麼在哭啊?」知更鳥似在問.
我把淚水強吞回去.
「我的愛人, 我在想你啊.」

(完)

拜读。
袖珍版的《基督山复仇记》。五千字写了别样世界，五千字说说梗概，不及《何满子之歌》等感人。
以下句中或有错漏：
她慢慢的舔乾把我身上的汗水
而事實這來得比我想像還快
 Robert 掛著一個蟹殘酷的笑臉道
早苗輕閉避開了一擊
她的五名下連發生什麼事也未及知道就被亂槍打死

[QUOTE][b]下面引用由[u]蕭振[/u]发表的内容：[/b]

拜读。
袖珍版的《基督山复仇记》。五千字写了别样世界，五千字说说梗概，不及《何满子之歌》等感人。
以下句中或有错漏：
她慢慢的舔乾把我身上的汗水
而事實這來得比我想像還快
 Robert 掛...[/QUOTE]


謝謝. 對粗心大意的小土豆來說, 老蕭確是最佳的校對人選. 呵呵.

這是很另類的故事, 和何滿子的那種很不同.

作為寫作的人, 小土豆希望作多方面的嘗試. 這也是其中之一吧.

話說回頭, 小土豆有些朋友說很引起他們共鳴的.

無論如何, 小土豆深謝.

謝謝小土豆包涵！
我說的很直白。
如果方便，請告之引起共鳴的友人的大概年齡和職業好嗎？

各花入各目本是常情，我問這問題不過想知道此是否年青人的看法多？

[QUOTE][b]下面引用由[u]蕭振[/u]发表的内容：[/b]

謝謝小土豆包涵！
我說的很直白。
如果方便，請告之引起共鳴的友人的大概年齡和職業好嗎？[/QUOTE]

大部份的朋友都是網上的讀者, 因此, 如果他們不肯透露, 小土豆是不會知道他們的年齡和工作的.

可以較肯定的數人如下:

男     40 歲     退休人仕   (美國)
男     30-40     動畫工程師  (英國)
男     30-40     法律界      (中國)
女     30-35     作家        (義大利)
女     50        前護士/已退休 (法國)
男     40        職業不明      (日本)
女     36        平面設計師    (香港) (現實生活朋友)
男     40        大學講師      (星加坡)
男     35-40     IT 主管       (中國)
男     55        作家          (英國)


至於是否有較年輕的讀者, 就不得而知了. 反正如果他們說年紀小, 我也不敢盡信.

谢谢小土豆详尽解答！
肯定的数人都是中年人，七男三女，二人职业不明余都是专业人士。说真的，我高兴看到这样的结果。现今一些年轻人暴虐，我觉得正面的诱导对他们好些。社会的道德沦丧，网上的暴力，宣传的偏离都给社会负面影响。
近洛杉矶发生的中国留学生打入事件又是一例。

　以下内容摘自网上，谢谢作者！

据美媒日前报道，经过庭审，震惊中美华人的洛杉矶地区中国留学生绑架案案情逐步浮出水面：受害者刘某在波莫纳高等法院控诉了中国留学生翟某、张某和杨某等被告人对她的暴行，包括扒光衣服、用烟头烫伤乳头、强迫其吃沙子、剃掉头发逼她吃掉等。案件竟然是因为男女之间的争风吃醋而引起的。

　　该案件涉案者众多，且都是中国留学生，目前被抓捕归案的6名被告人中，除翟某、张某和杨某外，另外3人为未成年人。目前，还有4位涉案中国留学生在逃。

　　受害人案发前也曾遭遇殴打


　　受害人刘某在证词中表示，翟某一年前曾因一些过节打过她，案发前两周又有人打了她，翟某也在场。所以，当3月30日晚小学同学陆某约她出来“商量事”的时候，刘某已有预感又要被翟某一伙人“教训”一顿了。然而，尽管她带上男性朋友卢某，却还是被翟某支开，说她们女孩之间有些事要商量。

　　绑架后殴打折磨持续5小时

　　卢某走后，翟某拿走刘某的车钥匙交给一名同伙，让其开车载着刘某和其同伙一起前往罗兰岗公园。一下车这些女孩便对刘某拳打脚踢，其中两人抓住刘的双臂，被告人杨某扒光刘的衣裤，之后用烟头烫伤刘某的乳头；另一名女孩还想用打火机点燃刘怡然的头发，因刘某的身上被泼了冷水，才没有被点燃。

　　翟某告诉张某回家取剪子，回来后交给一群女孩把刘某的头发剪掉，还命令她把头发捡起来吃掉；有的女孩还抓住她的头发把她按在地上吃沙子，憋得她喘不过气来，头晕目眩；还有的女孩用手机拍下了刘某的狼狈相，其中包括她吃头发和赤身裸体的照片。整个折磨过程长达5小时，刘某被打得遍体鳞伤，脸部淤青肿胀，双脚站不稳。

　　被告人试图胁迫受害人嫁祸于人


　　翟某、张某、杨某等一群中国留学生殴打、绑架刘某后，担心受害人报警，还想出了嫁祸于人的招数，胁迫刘某向警察谎称是男性朋友卢某殴打了她，声称如果刘配合说谎，她们一帮女孩都会为她作证，否则她不仅没有证人，还会受到更加残暴的皮肉之苦。

　　但刘某没有听从翟、张、杨的“导演”，在朋友的建议下，她于3月30日受害当晚就在罗兰岗公园拨打了报警电话。警方对浑身是伤的刘某进行了身体检查、拍照，并对案发现场进行了取证、调查。随后将翟、张、杨等6名被告人实施抓捕。因为另外3人“未成年”，所以警方没有透露他们的姓名。除这6名被告人外，警方目前还在追缉另外4名涉案留学生。

　　留学生家长因贿赂证人被捕


　　这起留学生涉嫌绑架案还传出案外案，6名被告留学生当中的一名学生家长被指因涉嫌贿赂证人被抓，再次上演中国家长试图“花钱摆平”不成，反而搬起石头砸自己脚的丑闻。

　　辩护律师邓洪在法庭外透露，当天上午波莫纳高等法院开庭前，检辩双方讨论了突发案外案。检方表示，一名被告人的父亲因涉嫌贿赂证人被抓，让整个案件节外生枝。 （宗和）

謝謝老蕭.

然則, 老蕭是認為小土豆故事宣傳暴力?

Yuri-Summer

(1)

Betrayal means death.

That is our No.1 golden rule.

Both Sanae and I knew this.  But despite that, we could not help ourselves.
The attraction was mutual and instantaneous.

(2)

I remembered it was a hot summer day and the fleet of our Harleys was racing with the wind on Shonan expressway. I was riding at the back of Roberta, our queen, my arms tightly wounding round her slim waist.  I remembered it was the hottest day of the year and my sailor-fuku was drenched by my sweat.  Roberta always drove at a neck-breaking speed and I had to cling tight with my breasts pressed against her back.  I knew she had taken off her brassiere once she left the campus. This knowledge accentuated my feeling of intimacy and I could feel the nipples under my brassier getting hard.  Roberta slept with me the night before.  Or rather, she made me sleep with her.  That was her prerogative as our queen.  I did not feel abused as Roberta was stunningly beautiful with long dark hair but hazel-blue eyes which she inherited from her Italian father’s genes. I offered myself to her in the small room in a run-down ryokan.  Before I entered her room, I had followed her instruction to take off my sailor-fuku and changed into the one piece black leather outfit she provided. The air-conditioner of the ryokan had broken down and my skin was covered with sweat even when I pulled open the sliding door. Roberta was sitting in the center, dressed only in a white summer kimono, the yukata. Even at a distance, I could see she was not wearing any underwear.
“Come here, Keiko.” She pointed at a spot near her on the tatami.  I obeyed and knelt no further than half a meter from her.  I could feel her hot breath upon my skin, which made me a bit uneasy.  Before I could voice out anything, she pulled me to her and using her teeth, pulled down the zipper in front of my leather outfit. I arched back my neck, close my eyes and moaned. I could feel her hands exploring my cleft and my pert breasts, followed by her eager tongue.
“Never betray me, Keiko.” She whispered into my ear as she eased the leather from my shoulders.  I was soon lying naked before her.  She took her time to lick away the sweat on my body, then parted my legs and mounted me.
“Cup my breasts, feel them.” She told me.
I held up my hands with my eyes still closed groping for her tits.  Finally, I found them.  They were so full and round.  I could feel the nipples, like small grapes in my palms and immediately withdrew my hands as if afraid any further fondling might cause damage.
Roberta laughed.  
“Do you like them?”
I nodded, without opening my eyes.
“Good.  Suck them.”
I felt her pressing her breasts, one by one, to my lips.  I used my tongue to play with them one by one timidly and sucked at one of them only after a while.
“You are a good girl, Keiko. I like you.  From now, you are mine.”
I felt unease at her words.  I liked Roberta.  She was beautiful, clever and had great charisma.  But I knew that the fact that I was aroused by her did not mean I loved her, not in the way that I wanted her to be my only and eventual lover.
“Let me deflower you, Keiko.”
“No!” I open my eyes.
“Why? Do you want to leave that to a man? Your future husband?” I saw anger in her eyes that was not there before.
“No, I do not want any man.  I have always love women.” I denied.
“Good. Then, let us get this over with.”
I wished to protest more but she had already begun to make love to me.  Her yukata was stripped and she revealed the glory of her body to me.  My mouth half-opened in amazement.  She had a perfect figure.  And my animal side took over as I cast my rational thinking to the winds.  She mounted me, further spread my legs and shoveled her fingers in.
“Arg…”I could feel the blood seeping out, staining the tatami.  My thoughts were how the inn-keeper would feel when she discovered this.  Would she shout? Complain? Or make us pay?  Then I knew I was just being silly: this room had probably witnessed countless virgins being deflowered and the inn-keeper would not care for shit. I could feel Roberta’s body pressed upon mine; our tits rubbed against each other as she French-kissed me.  I felt as if my whole body was on fire, every cell had suddenly come alive.
“Tell me you love me,” she ordered.
“I love you, Roberta.” I responded almost by reflex.
May be I really thought I loved her and that I had found the one true love of my life.
I now knew how wrong I had been.

(2)

She was riding alone, on a silver-red Indian.  She wore a black helmet, with her long black hair flying like a mane underneath it.  I could see the fabric of the black bra-top shivering in the wind, and looked as if it could be blown away any moment. Below her waist, she wore cut-short denim jeans, exposing her long, tapered legs and very nice knee-caps.  Her motorbike was cruising parallel to ours and I did not see her face at first. It was Roberta who first threw her a challenge and at that moment, she turned her head and I saw her face.  My jaw dropped.  It was the face of an angel, purity written all over it.  And those eyes, limpid like autumn lakes, were gazing at me.  I felt heat rising up my face and even more, there was heat between my legs. Why? Why did she have to make her entrance that late?  If we had met earlier in life, I would have followed her no matter where she led. I would not mind if she was a les like me.  I would just follow her and be content to be near her presence.  

Roberta must have sensed what I was feeling.  I could feel a rage rising in her and she converted it into speed.  Stepping on her accelerator, she put the Harley into a murderous roar and catapulted us forward.  I felt so lonely now that I had lost the rider on the silver-red Indian forever.  But I was wrong.  I heard the sound of motor behind me and then the next moment, we were parallel again.  My heart was beating so fast.  She was coming after us.  No! She was coming up FOR me.

The unannounced war erupted between the two.  Roberta drove the Harley into frenzy.  It had a very powerful engine but somehow, she could never shake off the silver-red Indian.  Round murderous bends the two motorbikes screeched their tires.  All the rest of our gang members were lagging behind out of sight now and there was only the two of us engaged in a crazy duel of death along the Sagami Bay.
“Roberta, please stop this.  You will kill us both!” I shouted at the top of my voice.
Roberta was not even listening.  To her, winning this race was more important than life and death.

We came upon a stretch of narrow bends.  I knew what it meant.  Sooner or later we might run into a situation in which a vehicle from the opposite direction would force us make way, or crash.  The situation came even quicker than I thought.  A huge truck, one of those long-haul trucks that carried supplies from Tokyo to other cities in the west appeared directly in front of us, honking like mad. There was no space on our right to maneuver any more.  Either Roberta or the rider on the Indian gave way or Roberta and I would end up crushed under the 20 ton truck.

Roberta refused to give way.  The other rider did.  Roberta gave a shout of triumph as she banked the Harley to the right and raced down the highway. I did not share her ecstasy of triumph.  To Roberta, winning was more important than getting killed.  Getting both she and ME killed.  The other rider gave way when her safety was not in jeopardy.  I knew she did not want me hurt.

That night, Roberta made love to me again, brutally, like a conqueror enjoying her spoils of war.  I sneaked out after she was fast asleep.  Outside the inn, a silver-red Indian was waiting.

(3)

Her name was Sanae.  She was 20, one year older than I was.  And she was a lesbian.
We made love in a secluded spot in a near-by park.  I could tell the difference immediately.  Sanae made love with me; Roberta was just making love to me.
I told her that Roberta would go after us as I knew she was a vengeful bitch.  I heard from the other members that she had caused the deaths of two girls who had betrayed her before, making it as if accidents.  Their bodies and the wreck of their Harley were discovered on a rocky beach below a sheer drop cliff of 80 meters.
Sanae just shook her head and smiled.  She was not afraid and she would never give me up.  
“We can run away to Hokkaido,” she said.
 “I can take up odd jobs, delivering pizza perhaps.  And I still have a little money.”
I did not tell Sanae that money was never the problem.  I was rich. The inheritance and insurance indemnity from my parents, who were killed in a plane crash a few years ago, could ensure me a comfortable living without having to do any work. I did not want my money to get into the equation of our relationship and I was willing to work alongside her, delivering pizza or serving in road-side cafes.
“We will be happy. Trust me.”
I nodded and the next morning, we headed north.

(4)

We lived happily together for the next three summers.  The longer I spent my life with Sanae, the more I knew she was the one destined for my life.  We earned just enough money to rent a small apartment and buy us food and other necessities.  I never took any money from my bank account.  Happiness did not rely on a lot of money.  And we were happy.
Sanae told me about her life: how she lost both her parents when she was no more than eleven.  She worked part-time to earn a living once she attained the legally permitting age.  She told me there were three things in life she treasured most: her motorbike, freedom and me.
We made love almost every other day, and we never grew tired of each other. When both she and I did not have to work, we went fishing.  I did not fish as I thought it cruel to the fishes but I loved to see her fish.  And sometimes, we went to pubs to have a drink or went dancing in a local disco.
Life was like heaven.  Until Roberta found us.

(5)

I knew we were cornered even before Roberta came out behind the tree.  She had brought five girls of her gang with her.  And they were armed: baseball bats, bike-chains, even a katana, the type the yakuza used.

Sanae had gone to a convenience shop to buy me something to drink and I was all alone.
My heart was beating so fast.  I was afraid, not for my own safety but Sanae’s.
“So, our two love-birds have been hiding here all these years,” Roberta said with a cruel smile on her face.  I once had thought she was stunningly beautiful.  Now I realized I was wrong.  It was not a face, but only a mask.  The face beneath that skin was despicable.
“What are you going to do to us?” The story about the two girls lying on a rocky beach rushed through my mind.
“We will see, when your girl-friend comes back.”
And Sanae was coming back, holding the drinks she bought me and not realizing what was happening.
“Run! Sanae! Run!” I shouted at the top of my voice.
Sanae looked up and for a moment, she was stunned.
“Run!” I shouted and the next moment, Roberta’s penknife was on my face.
“One more shout and your pretty face will get a scar that will stay the rest of your miserable life.” She hissed.
“Run! Sanae! Run!” I shouted and then I felt the cold metal eating into my flesh.
I felt blood and tears streaming down, not because of the scar but that I saw Sanae was running, towards us.
“Let her go!” Sanae shouted.
She carried no weapon but the bottle of beer was handy and she broke it against a lamppost and held the sharpened glass towards Roberta.
“Get her!” Roberta ordered.
One of the girls with a base-ball bat pounced.  Sanae side-stepped her and brought the remained of the smashed bottle on her leg.  The girl gave a scream and went down.  Two other girls joined the fray.  One was holding a katana and the other a meter bike-chain. Sanae was being sandwiched between two deadly adversaries now.  And my heart was beating so fast.  The girl with the katana gave a shout and made a vertical cut. Sanae stepped back just in time but she forgot the other one with the bike-chain.  With a cry of agony, Sanae took a lash at her back which sent her body down.  The girl with the katana rushed in thinking it was good chance to make a kill.  But Sanae was faster and making a rolling move on the ground, sank the bloodied half-bottle into the lower leg of her assailant.  The girl screamed and dropped her katana.  Sanae was about to pick up the weapon when she felt a second blow of the bike-chain on her left arm.  She stumbled forward in pain.  A third girl punched her with the end of her base-ball bat.
“No! Stop! Make them stop!” I pleaded.
They did not stop. Before long, Sanae was reduced to a wreck with blood all over.
She was now crawling towards me, her hand outstretched in my direction. The girl with a base-ball bat smashed Sanae’s hand.  I heard the bones cracked.  She would not be able to ride her silver-red Indian again.
My heart broke.
“I hate you!” I spat at Roberta.
“What does it matter? You are no longer the little pretty thing I used to love. And besides, both of you will not live to see the sunrise.”
I froze at the words.  Then, strangely I felt peace.  The idea of dying with Sanae gave me calmness that I never knew possible.
“Yes, kill us both now!” I said.
Roberta stared at me with her hard cold eyes.
Then, a cruel smile appeared.
“Kill that bitch!” She said.
I bit my lower lip to suppress my cry of anguish as they cut my Sanae’s throat.  She was still looking at me when she died.
“Now, kill me too.” I said coldly.
“No. I am not going to give you that satisfaction.  You are going to live your life in torment and a messed-up face.  That is the price you are going to pay for your betrayal.”
So saying, she made another cut on my face to leave an “X” on it.
“I will make revenge!” I swore.
She laughed and then motioned one of her girls over.
The next moment, something hard hit the back of my head and there was darkness.

(6)

Roberta should have killed me.
She forgot two things: a woman who had nothing to lose anyone could go to extremes to have her revenge.  She had killed my love and she was not going to get away with it.  Secondly, she forgot that I was rich, very rich.
Richness could not buy me happiness.  It could not give Sanae back to me.
But riches could buy power and guns.
It took me two years to locate Roberta and her gang.
I went to find her. Or, I should say, we went to find her.
Six men from the Yamaguchi Gumi went with me.  I had paid an enormous sum for their service and for the Japanese yakuza, a deal was a deal.
Her girls did not even know what hit them.  They were shot down in the room of the ryokan with pistols fitted with silencers.  They probably had an orgy the night before as they were sleeping in one room, all of them naked.  Their young bodies piled on each other in death.
Roberta was saved for the last. I had made the condition that she must not be harmed as I reserved the right to avenge the death of Sanae.
She was shivering when brought to me.  I had planned to gorge out her eyes, cut off her tongue, pulled out every single strand of her hair before I cut her throat.
Somehow, I changed my mind at the last moment.  Cruelty could not be used to avenge another act of cruelty.  I shot her, trice: through her two breasts and then in the middle of her forehead.  She slid down against the partition of the room, brought it down by her weight and lay spread-eagled on the tatami, naked.

I had the terrified owner of the inn adequately compensated.  The old woman could live out the rest of her life without having to engage in any business activity again, or work.  The men of the Yamaguichi Gumi sent me back to Tokyo in their long black limousine.  They would take care of everything, which meant nothing would be happen, somehow.  I did not know how they did it, nor did I care.

I went back to Hokkaido and bought the apartment in which Sanae and I had spent our happy times together.  I had also brought the pistol I shot Roberta with, along with a fresh magazine of lead.  Originally, I intended to shoot myself in the temple in front of her photo.  But something in her smile in that photo made her change my mind.  Perhaps, I could live with the pain, if I could be allowed to live with her memory.  If it was really too difficult, I could pull out the drawer and lay my finger on the trigger any time.
I needed not to work.  The money in the bank was enough to last a life-time.  I lived simply and after a year I started to write books.  They sold astonishingly well, not that I cared for the royalty though.  I had all of them donated to charity.

I have been writing for three hours this morning and feeling tired, I eased my fingers which have been typing away on the keyboard.  I looked out of the window and saw Sanae’s silver-red Indian parked outside.  I had made sure it regularly dusted and oiled though no one ever rode on it again.  The morning was warm and I could see a robin cocking its head and staring at me from the window sill. Somehow, it reminded me of Sanae and a tear ran down my face.
“Why are you crying?” The little robin seemed to be asking.
I chocked back the sob and replied, “I am thinking of you, my beloved.”

(End)

Postscript: Yuri (百合), also known by the wasei-eigo construction Girls' Love (ガールズラブ gāruzu rabu?),is a Japanese jargon term for content and a genre involving love between women in manga, anime, and related Japanese media. It focuses on the sexual or the emotional aspects of the relationship, or both.

小土豆愚見: 單依靠暴力不能解決問題, 可是單依靠非暴力亦不能解決問題.

年輕人(不是指兒童)健康的成長, 有賴對社會問題的全面接觸與認知: 世界上有好, 有壞, 有些在好壞之間, 能多看 多讀, 多了解, 才不會偏執.

淳淳善誘是好, 但中國二千年來, 哪一代不是書讀孔孟, 表揚忠君孝悌的? 結果怎樣? 大多數是二千年任主人屠宰的羊. 反觀外國兒童除了理性教育外, 也充份培養了戰鬥精神, 敢為自己的信念挺身而出, 雖有時不免偏差, 但總體來說, 不見得就是無法無天的世界. (外國基本教育中就包括了Sparta 和 Spartacus 的故事, 荷馬的Iliad, 莎翁的名劇也何嘗不是血影刀光,屍骸遍野?)

不久之前, 中國出了"狼圖騰"這一本書(後來拍成電影), 其中一主旨就是中國人太信奉"龍"文化, 龍是獨一的. 它在, 其他人就只有服從和祟拜. 也就是說, 其他人都成了"龍的奴隸而不自知. 我們也許真的缺乏一些"狼"性. (太馴從, 其實是助長了另一種隱性暴力)

文學上沒有"好"與"壞"的題目 (那些刻意渲染色情和暴力的也許除外), 只有寫得"好"和寫得"不好"的. 我也相信絕大部份的讀者(十八歲以上)能作出明智的選擇和判斷. 至於那些本身就迷信暴力的, 你就算一天到晚"之乎者也", 他也不會受到同化.

重要的是讓他多方接觸, 盡量不預設樊籬, 以諱至他明事理而勇於表達, 不作狼, 而不會成為任人屠宰的羊.

未知然否?