Coming from your hometown, a firefly
Rested on your left breast, brightening it
While night on the right side of your body
Was trapped in darkness that deepened
My right eye saw the brightness on your left breast
My left eye witnessed the darkness
That another breast agreed
Had become even more remote
Now my eyes see nothing but electric light
An unbearable, dazzling brightness occupying the world
The firefly disappeared in the breathing of New York City
I can tell this firefly from any others
No matter how fast or how far
It flies away from this summer
Beautiful images. The second stanza doesn't flow as well as the rest.
"My left eye witnessed the darkness
That another breast agreed
Had become even more remote"
The clauses here disrupt the flow. "agreed" seems to be the culprit. It's a bit confusing which is the precedent (前置词)and which is the subject (主语) for the third line.
In terms of grammar, you are right, Aihua! But you may know that sometimes
ambiguity in poems is a basic tactic.In this case, the " Had become even more
remote" uses "the darkness " as its subject. Any opinion from you is
appreciated.