The Second Ransack Just two days after I received my sister's letter, at the Dep-artment political studying session, another teacher came into the room, whisper-ed with the head, then turned to me and snapped, "Go! To your dormitory to 'swe-ep four old'.” Although unexpected, I didn’t feel much shock. In fact I had n-othing to be “swept”, so just quietly asked, "Wasn't it ransacked already?"
"Sweep again!" the teacher snapped. I walked with them silently, followed by col-leagues. This time the ransack was more thorough than before. All drawers were pulled out and inspected inside and out, and a flashlight was beamed under the desk and bed. Even my roommate Teacher Deng’s drawers and bookshelf were check-ed carefully. Deng also was regarded as a typical “more professional than re-d” person who had published several research articles but did not get a promoti
 on in more than 20 years. However, he was not designated to be ransacked. An innocent person often did get into such trouble on account of another’s misfortun-e. I then was taken to the teaching building where they ransacked my office and found nothing. This time they took away the only letter from abroad, my teachin-g preparation notebooks, maps of the world and China, and even a map of Kunming city! I knew immediately that this ransack was related to the escape of Yu-ou.
Then I was called to the door, where the teacher commanded me: "From now on all coming and going letters must be checked first by Cultural Revolution Committe-e.” I was absolutely not afraid of letters being checked. If there were any pro-blem, it would be not to be able pass the police examination so called "enter t-he dark room”. But once a letter was handed over to Cultural Revolution Commit-tee, it was hard to say when it would be given to me. Before the Big Characters Posters siege I was counting days to receive letters from home. Now I was in an isolated state, so a letter from home was even more important for relieving anx-iety, "A letters from home is worth more than gold”. How could it be intercepted and kept indefinitely? Courage plus resentment welled up in my heart and I pr-otested. The response: “How dare you!” “It’s terrible!” I had stirred up a hornet’s nest, bringing shouts, blame and threats swarming upon me. I didn’t know why I was so bold but I was determined not to yield: “No, I don’t agre--tion is stipulated by the Constitution.” Although everyone knew what the so-cal-led "Constitution" really was, it was the only excuse I could use for defense. After all, during the early days of the Cultural Revolution, wanton beating or killing had not yet occurred in Kunming. After this series of insults failed to intimidate me, the teacher haughtily declared: "Even though you don't agree, we can still take the letters to the Committee.” Then, holding their booty, the l-etter and maps, they swaggered out. Everyone knows that "The Constitution of th-e People's Republic of China" is merely a scrap of paper. Did the "Great Leade-r" not arrogantly declare: "I am the monk holding an umbrella, who has no hair (Law) and nor (the will of) Heaven"? Later I heard that when Liu Shaoqi, the Ch-country, was denounced and struggled at an assembly, he also held The Constitution of the People's Republic of China but suffered teasing and taunts from the R-ed Guards. Fortunately for me, this time the Constitution served as a useful ga-g on my persecutors. I could not help but smile wryly in my heart. ‘Behave you-rself, you are not allowed to be unruly in words and deed’ In the next session of Department political studying, the head (also the head of the Party branch)
conveyed a command from the authority to me: "Behave yourself, you are not allow-ed to be unruly in words and deed." This was the command issued to so-called "c-lass enemies”. My head throbbed and my eyes fell. All was lost! I was finally branded as one of those "contradictions between ourselves and the enemy" and ca-tegorized as being within the enemy five percent of the campaign. What would co-me next? One after another: denouncement and struggle, beating, sentence, labor reform? Scene after scene of tragedy passed before my mind. Since I was condemned as "contradictions between ourselves and the enemy", namely, the “class enem-y”, no matter with what "element" I might be labeled, my life was over, just a-s it was always said: "Knock down (the enemy) to the ground and step on a foo--t." Even if I could survive after years of torment, I still "cannot stand foreve-r." The “rightist removed label” was still "label removed rightist”. A man a-fter release from labor reform was still "released prisoner from labor refor-m”. What’s more, the disaster would impact my family, relatives and future gen-erations. Fear and despair afflicted me even more intensely than before, and I could not rest peacefully day or night. I recalled Professor Zhu Xihou of our D-epartment. He obtained two doctorates in France and return to serve the motherland. Being conscientious and assiduous, he still was afflicted with one after
another political campaigns: First he was alleged to have contacts with the Hu F-eng clique, and then he was labeled “rightist”. He had been driven near suicide twice but fortunately escaped death. During penal labor under surveillance, he was often scorned and instructed like a dog. A colleague well known for being “left” suffered from tuberculosis and once spit accidentally on his own coat. He saw Zhu nearby, so ordered Zhu to come and rubbed sputum on him. Professor H-u, an expert in anesthesiology of the Second Affiliated Hospital, underwent exc-lusion and a false charge by a Party member and was labeled “rightist”. He wa-s sent to a commune to do penal labor. He and another rightist were ordered to
pull the plow like an ox. When they heard that there would be a tractor, they lo-oked forward day and night to tractor coming so they would no longer be used as oxen. Finally the tractor arrived, Hu and several people were lined up in a row and followed the tractor to transplant the rice shoots. The tractor went “too--t, toot” and moved quickly ahead. The men scrambled and crawled until mud cove-red their faces and bodies but still could not catch up. Lying down nearly exha-usted on the ridge of the field, they agreed they felt like smashing the tracto-r. Life is precious. Love is even more valuable; But for freedom’s sake, both can be thrown. This was the famous verse by the Hungarian poet Sandor Petofi, w-hich I had read when I was in high school. As “Youth doesn’t know what worry is”, I thought it was just the poet’s romance and exaggeration, but now I dee-ply understood its meaning. I was unwilling to wait to die. A word was graduall-y emerging in my brain: Escape! and it was getting more and more clear. Since the Communists began ruling China, the flight of people to Hong Kong from Guangdo-ng had never stopped. I had heard about it so often, but had no idea at all abo-ut how to do it. I only learned that a lot of them were caught and brought back, and only a few succeeded. In Kunming, fleeing to Hong Kong was equivalent to "committing treason." Once caught, it was impossible to expect to remain free i-n Guangdong, so fleeing would be a gamble of life or death. I had no choice but to bet on it. I clenched my teeth. It would be "boom or bust”. If I desired
human dignity for my future, the only way was to escape. So I silently endured, waiting for the opportunity to return to Guangzhou, and then try to flee the co-untry. Situation Changes as Authorities Spearhead Cultural Revolution
Each day everyone behaved like robots to learn Chairman Mao’s “Highest Directives”, documents, editorials, or to participate in the assembly for denouncing a-nd struggling against targeted victims, or to write Big Character Posters and t-o read posters, although there was nothing really new. One day in August 1968, in the din of tweeters, gongs and drums, the broadcast announced that the "Regu-lations of the Cultural Revolutions (Draft)” enacted by the Central Panel of t-he Cultural Revolution had been issued. Then at the Department political studyi-ng session every one listened to the "Regulations" as if it were the imperial e-dict. I noticed that the targeted objects of the Cultural Revolution were two, one was the "the persons in power taking capitalist road”, and the other was t-he "reactionary academic authorities”. I did not understand what "the persons in power taking capitalist road" meant, but obviously I was not the “person in power”. As for the "reactionary academic authority", I was only an insignificant teaching assistant. Even though I had published a paper in the "Chinese Medic-al Journal”, and was labeled at the annual appraisal as “more professional th-an red”, I surely could not qualify as an "academic authority" and be an objec-t of the Cultural Revolution. Or so I thought. However, the posters attack agai-nst me continued, although on a much smaller scale and with lack of substantial content. I remained isolated and subject to hostility. More serious was that I was ordered to "behave yourself and you are not allowed to be unruly in words a-nd deeds.” which meant I had been determined to be a "class enemy”.
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