(你曾說你愛我)(印度斯坦瑪詩丹妮公主之歌)
你曾說你愛我
從那一刻直至永遠
你曾說會把我守護
在你的臂灣中我會得到蔭庇
在戰場上你縱橫無敵
你的名字令敵人顫慄
馬拉塔的黑王子
永恆照耀印度斯坦大地
但告訴我, 我親愛的夫君
在沙場上能以寡擊眾的你
為何面對你親族時畏首不前
難讓我有容身之地?
我向你獻出了身軀, 我把靈魂交付於你
我為你的勝利歡欣, 我分擔你的苦惱與傷悲
我以舞姿取悅你的眼睛, 我讓你把頭靠到的酥胸裡
我們第一次眼神接觸, 我永遠都不會忘記.,
告訴我, 我的夫君, 為什麼偉大戰士如你
竟可像駝鳥把頭藏在沙下
選擇不為我戰鬥, 而只會逃避?
讓我受盡屈辱及帶著不名譽去死?
他們把毀謗傾注我身
他們甚至試圖否定我曾存在
他們說我是舞女, 妓女, 是女巫
在我絕望中把我關起.
只需你一言就可以救我出生天
你的命令誰敢悍然不理
但你卻選擇忽視與拖延
直至我們付出的代價昂高無比.
你曾說你愛我, 我亦從不懷疑
你沒有騙我, 但這更令我悲痛欲死
你會否理解我在囚室中絕望離魂一刻,
我仍低喚你的名字, 問: 你究竟在那裡?
我深愛的夫君, 你本可令我們一生無憾
你與我兩手相牽往星空共飛
你曾說你愛我, 但決心卻欠這小小距離
讓那些豺狼有機可乘把我置諸死地.
你曾說你愛我, 但這愛竟有如此的缺口
人生最重要的戰鬥不定要靠矛與劍取得勝利
你無視危險, 卻無法有決心說: 不!
那需要發自你靈魂的更大勇氣.
但我已把你原諒, 我的殿下, 我的生命, 我的依寄
因你曾說你愛我, 而我愛你更多
我知道在你心中的地位; 其他人說的, 我大可不理:
我是你一生中最大的珍寶, 正如我最珍愛的, 永遠是你.
注: 瑪詩丹妮公主(?-1740) 是印度斯坦一個小王國的公主, 能歌擅舞外, 亦能馳騁戰場, 後下嫁馬拉塔的國王巴扎魯為第二個妻子, 卻因思想獨立, 種姓及宗教問題始終不被丈夫家人(婆婆及大妻等)接納. 最後在丈夫出征時被軟禁中死亡(死亡原因仍是懸案, 有說因知道丈夫病逝而傷心致死, 亦有說因拒(大妻之子)姦而服毒自盡. 死後更被人刻意在歷史抹去痕跡. 直至最近才恢復名譽.
2015年印度電影Bajirao and Mastani 即訴說她的故事.
原英文版本:
(You said you loved me)(written for Mastani)
You said you loved me
Then, and till the end of time
You said you would protect me
A safe haven in your arms I would always find
You were invincible on the battlefields
Your enemies trembled at the mention of your name
The black prince of Maratha
Hindustan’s shining torch, its eternal flame.
But tell me, my beloved swami
You, who were fearless in battles against all odds
Why you looked for escapes when facing your family,
And failed to give me support?
I gave you my body, I gave you my soul
I rejoiced at your victories, I shared your sadness and woes
I danced to delight your eyes, I let your head rest on my breasts
I never forgot the very moment our eyes first met
Tell me, my swami, why a mighty warrior as you
Like an ostrich, you could bury head in the sand
To avoid confrontation, and not fight for me instead
Subjecting me to humiliation and ignominy even after I was dead
They showered me with their slanders
They even tried to erase my existence from the books
They labeled me a dancing girl, a courtesan, a witch
Locked me up and took away all hopes
A word of you would have saved me
Your stern command nobody would dare to disobey
Yet you chose to ignore and tarry
Until a hefty price both of us had to pay
You said you loved me and I have never doubted your words
You did not lie to me but this only worsened the hurt
Could you feel my despair when in cell my life slipped from me?
As I whispered your name and cried out: “Where can you be?”
My beloved swami, you could have made our lives complete
Together you and I, holding hands, the stars we could have reached
You said you love me, yet resolution stayed a finger’s distance away
Condemning me to a tragic end and the jackals had their day.
You said you loved me, but it was a love a hair’s gap short
The most important battle was not with swords and spears fought
You sneered at danger but could not master the word, “No!”
To do that you need courage from your very soul
Yet I forgive you, my prince, my life, my lord
‘Cause you said you loved me, but I love you so much more
I care not what they call me; I know what I am to you
Your greatest treasure; the same as you are to me too.
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