五律 登贡嘎雪山遥瞻著名大冰瀑

楼主 枕流不漱石 于 2013-12-14 07:10:21
五律 登贡嘎雪山遥瞻著名大冰瀑
五律  登贡嘎雪山遥瞻世界最大冰瀑

[B]金银朝夕变，日出玉生烟。尝化千寻雪，遂成万仞川。
呼声难入谷，祷语易登天。久伫尘心净，惟思致吉蠲。[/B]

贡嘎雪山在朝阳下银光熠熠，在夕阳中金光灿灿，人谓朝银山，夕金山。主峰在阳光下，表层积雪蒸腾而成云气，犹如白玉生烟。

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1楼 宇寒 于 2013-12-14 08:15:40
最喜颔联和尾联，有大气象。
“祷告”若换做“默祷”，未知如何？宇寒浅见。
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2楼 宇寒 于 2013-12-14 08:24:42
凝成换遂成，又如何?
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3楼 宇寒 于 2013-12-14 08:33:47
再来，千秋若做千寻，又如何？
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4楼 宇寒 于 2013-12-14 08:36:24
呵呵，宇寒斗胆。妄议勿怪。
问好枕流君，冬安。
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5楼 宇寒 于 2013-12-14 08:52:12
颈联深具理趣。
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